Chaz and Joe's Quote Book (Online v. 2.5)
9/08/05 10:54 PM - Submitted by Chaz
Chaz: "Fuck emo. Thatís an understatement. I say fucking-explosive-diarrhea-shit-fucking-747-airplanes with nuclear-bombs-from-bin-Laden emo. And even that is still an understatement of how I feel toward emo."
Joe: "Yeah Jessie and I have been through a lot, you know. Jessie has been putting up with a lot of verbal abuse from me, but you know, were still going strong. And were engaged."
Jessie: "We are?"
Joe: "If a dumb person says something smart, it's probably because he/she heard it from a smart person. If a smart person says something dumb, it's usually to get laid."
Chaz: "It's like a mini fucking research paper, but it's an email. 300 words long."
Joe: "How damaged to tires get in car accidents."
Chaz: "Dude have you seen MY hub caps."
Joe: "Well, dude... those are your hub caps."
Chaz: "Dude. That's how you know it's a mexican. Rims on a piece of shit"
Chaz: "Wow she looks very beautiful in that picture."
Joe: "Yeah, but theres a lot of false face there."
Chaz: "Yeah I know, because you can't smell her breath."
Joe: "Our friendship is very tight, we are really close."
Chaz: "Yeah bro, if we were any closer we would be gay. But that will never happen because we are maxed out at 100 level and in order to be gay we would need two power scrolls to exceed 100 skill."
Joe: "LOL, dude."
Chaz: "And I haven't seen a single fucking powerscroll drop, nor a monster to even kill in real life yet so I don't think the chances of this happening are too likely"
Joe: "Too funny man, you are right."
Chaz: "Yea, so don't worry, we're straight."
Joe: "Dude do you have free will?"
Chaz: "No, you can't free willy."
Chaz: "I didn't hear what you said so I just put a 'y' at the end of it."
Joe: "...balls of steel..."
Chaz: "Joe, you've used so much honey in the past few days."
Joe: "Yeah man... I'm fucking intense about my tea."
Chaz: "Dude that was an awesome fart...it was like a short story: it had 2 parts to it."
Joe: "Dude, I'm gonna throw eggs on those girls down there, and say "oh, sorry, I was trying to fry some eggs but you're obviously not hot enough."
Joe: "Chaz! What the hell are you doing?" (as he opens a can of spahetti O's in the air)
Chaz: "Don't worry dude, I'm pro at this." (as he points the can at Joe)
Chaz: "Dude how am I going to explain that to him?!?"
Chaz: "Contigo, contigo, where the fuck is my contigo?"
Joe: "You fuckin' know everything."
Chaz: "I need to pretend like I'm taking a shit to do that."
Joe: "Well I don't know what you're talking about, but..."
(Chaz sneezes) Chaz: "Thank you Joe, thanks for saving my breath."
Chaz: "Dude I just tried to type 'Karen' but fucking typed 'Korean'."
Joe: "I'm going to get rid of this shit with flutes." (referring to the nature music.)
Chaz: "No, I thought I was talking to you but I wasn't."
Joe: "No dude, I wrote a proof that allows 'my ass' as a response to yes or no questions."
Chaz: "Giving you an answer, now I use your trashcan."
Chaz: "Dude, Denises Birthday is coming up..."
(in a wow tone)Joe: "Man, I wish I gave a shit."
Chaz: "I think I'm going to change my major to Astronomy, and then I'll run a multimillion dollar business that has absolutely nothing to do with Astronomy."
Joe: "It's better than shitting dumplings and thinking they're actually dumplings."
Joe: "Dude, I had a dream about D2L. I was looking at Suzzanes page and I saw that she had a lot of music and I had to beat her."