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I have lots to do in a short amount of time: It STARTS NOW!
2/27/05 4:21 PM - Submitted by Chaz

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To Do List:

Sunday-Monday February 27-28, 2005

English:

Electronic Research Assignment Complete/Print RIO
Reading Journal 2 pages over 1 print out
Rough Draft – A Brave New World (Cloning, Etc…)
• Revise Rough Draft – Review/ 2-3 pages (moved to Tuesday)

PAPER HERE!
Math:

• Print Exam Information (moved to Monday)
• Work on problems for 3.1-3.4 (moved to Monday)
• Review for Exam on Thursday (moved to Monday)
• Take Quiz for 3.5 (moved to Monday)

Spanish:

Translate Spanish Dialogue for Tuesday Presentation
Meet at 2 p.m. with Tyler and Josh
-- Create the Pizza wheel with Tyler and Josh(moved to Monday)
-- Practice Skit for Spanish
Work on Memorization of Spanish Dialogue
• Work on Chapter 10 Grammar/Homework/Textbook/Packet

If you have time:

iTunes needs works, sort out music.
Work on Gotcha stuff, preparing/setting up.(moved to Monday)
Laundry (1 or 2 loads)
Organize Room Clean / Throw out old socks (moved to Tuesday)lol
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Space = Amazing / Lots of Information
2/25/05 3:20 AM - Submitted by Chaz

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So I went and observed today at the Steward Observatory which was very fun. I got to look at The Orion Nebula, The Eskimo Nebula, Castor (a binary star) and Saturn. It was pimp because I could see the rings of Saturn, the moons of the planet and it was just a great experience. I recommend anyone who can go view our sky through a telescope to do so.

The weekend is almost here and I have a lot to do, I'm doing well though, things are going my way. I have some homework to bang out and I'll feel better about it. Also I have been very intrigued lately by Top ]

I feel like writing a book, and you're my inspiration.
2/24/05 2:49 AM - Submitted by Chaz

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Just wanted to shoot a thank you to everyone who responded to my last update. I know it was very deep and profound but they seem to be common questions that are not asked by few, but are asked by many people. Anyway, I'm doing good, things are rolling with school and I'm feeling pretty good about life. I feel like writing a book: very soon, I shall start it. I don't know what it will be about yet, but I know it will be good because I'm OCD and a perfectionist :P

Stay tuned, suckah!
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Something I have not done in a long time...
2/22/05 9:34 PM - Submitted by Chaz

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First off, let me just clarify something for anyone and everyone who reads this: this is a way for me to release myself by reflecting upon my thoughts through free writing. Do not be alarmed with whatever it is you may read, this is just a reflection on my emotions. Something I have not done in a while and because of that, I have a lot.

I do not know where to begin, the question is whether or not to start with the vast number of thoughts racing through my mind, my concerns with school, my triumphs regarding school, the relationships I have, my friends, the people who pose to be my friends but are really not because it is inevitable for everyone to care for everyone, I do not know how to start, the problems with my family, the issues I have with my Aunt and Uncle, the stress and grief they cause me, I do not know where to start again. I do not know what to even begin to think about my life, or the purpose of what I am doing right now, I cannot understand what my future is, what I want it to be, or what it will be. There are questions that I have that I do not know the answers to and because of that; it's really starting to piss me off. I want to know what we are doing here on this Earth, I want to know what is the reason for us; human beings. I want to know what's really happening, are we evolving or are we soaking in our own filth or are we progressing into the future full force with our thumbs in our assess. I want to understand life, I want to understand death, I want to understand what is really going on, and not what everyone assumes, I want to have my own idea and theory. I feel like we are all involuntarily programmed in a way to follow a certain choreographed map that has been deciphered by the powerful, fucking bastards that rule our planet. I think we all follow a certain way of life because that is the only way we know, that is what we are raised to believe and follow, ultimately to maintain a civilized civilization and keep our world from falling apart. Honestly, when it all comes down to it, the reaosn our world is stable is through the way we raise our children, the enforcement of law, the fear that is put into people through today's society. I think that we are ever so blind to see there is more than one path to life, there is more than one way to living without the fear that is incorporated into everyone through the media, the press, movies, etc... I just haven't figured out what that is or even if there is a way but there has to be beacuse we have the ability and power to make choices.

Although I want to understand how things work and I want to know answers to certain questions I know that will not help me with what it is I want to do. Knowing the answers is good sometimes, but I am also a very nosey person so that could be the reason for my desire to want to know why. What it is I want to do is irrelevant to investing so much time into looking for these answers; I am smarter than that with my time as I do not have much. I say I do not have much time meaning life is short; we only live about .00000000000001 percent of the time that this Earth has existed, eighty years roughly. There is so much to do that you either jump right into it, understand your mistakes fast and become a success or you spend your time beating around the bush and when it comes time, you ask yourself what happened and where did all the time go. I know this will happen because it happens to me every single day when I don’t finish my homework and I look at the clock and realize, WOW… it’s three o’clock in the morning already and I still have shit to do. That is exactly what will happen, I want to accomplish a lot in my life and there is not a better time to start then now. I am very fortunate for coming to these realizations even if they are a bit inaccurate, I am still blessed to understand the most crucial part of life: time. The point of this update is for me to get shit off my chest and continue with my schematic life. I do not understand why I have come to these realizations, maybe it has been influenced because of movies or maybe it has been influenced by the press or maybe it has just become to time for me to realize this and come to this need for answers. I don't understand life and why it works from time to time, and I don't understand the human being like I want to, I don't understand why we can go through such a strange roller coaster of emotions and I don't understand why we are so fucking unique and detailed. However, I do know that I may never understand these things and that is OK, but I will continue my search to finding these answers through my daily life, even though it may take a lot of time and cause a lot of stress, I will find out somehow. I just want to know how we work, why we work, what makes us work and what happened. I have been blessed with a gift, my gift is to understand people and attract people like bugs are attracted to light. Because of this I am a very social person and I have a way with people that not people realize they have the same ability. I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy and I don't have this special ability but I do know this: I am not better than the next person or the person sitting next to me, I am in no way better in any shape or form than anyone else however; I am more experienced than some and I am more understanding about certain aspects of life than others which gives me an advantage but does not make me better.

I am a good guy, I have the best intentions in everything I do, I don't mean to wrong anyone or hurt anybody but that is life, shit happens. No matter what I do, I can never bring back the past and because of that I must continue with my saga throughout life: living, learning, understanding, caring, sharing and helping others and truly understanding myself. If I had the ability to go in the past I would not change anything, I would not live life any other way and I would not mess with anything that has happened, however; I would have observed closely and I would have paid more attention to details so I would have a better understand on things but alas, I cannot do that and that does not matter to me at all. I am confused with life right now and I am faced with great decisions to make in the next few years which will altar my life and the outcome of my decision is based solely upon the decisions I make which brings me to another question, another curiosity. If we have the ability to make choices then why is it said that our life is already laid out for us and our destiny will be the same no matter what path you take to get there. This does not seem true to me because then that would ultimately mean I do not have the ability to make my own choice of my own destiny. If anyone knows the answer to that, do tell. I would like to have a better understanding of myself before I make these decisions.

I do not know what to say other then I am confused and perplexed by life and how detailed it can be sometimes. I do not know if I want to know the answers to everything but I do know that I just want to have a better understanding and a better idea of what the hell is going on. We are born, we do what our parents tell us, we go to school, we learn, we don’t learn enough, we finish school and either go to college or work, after that we find our significant other if we haven’t already, marriage, have children, and continue the cycle which is raise the children, teach the children, send them to school, tell them to go to college and it is repeated. People become either successful or they become content with living a mediocre life also known as middle class – upper class.

Someone please pinch my arm and wake me up, if you haven’t already I highly recommend taking into consideration what I have to say and if you want to know more just ask me or maybe I’ll post a second part to this. For now, take the teaser and do what you want with it.

I plan to write books, publicly speak, share my views and my understanding, hopefully my end goal for the book writing will be the write a book up there along with the famous “How to Win Friends and Influence People” – Dale Carnegie one of a kind. I want to be an entrepreneur, run a few businesses, I want to help teach others and open their eyes like mine have been opened through the harsh realities of life. I want to do so much but I have so little time that I must prioritize what is important to me and I must chose what it is that I want to contribute to this world. Life is a fucking bitch. If life were a person I would tell that person to piss off for sticking me with so much shit with such little time. On the contrary, I’d thank life for everything it has done for me and I’d thank it for the opportunity it has given me to do what I want, once again. Time is up, I’m done and I really have to take a piss.

I spent exactly one hour putting my thoughts into this update, no more no less. Lates.

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Just for you Princess!
2/20/05 1:34 AM - Submitted by Chaz

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Valentine's day is all about sex!
2/15/05 12:23 AM - Submitted by Chaz

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Sup update? Brittany sent me the best Valentine's Day gift ever. I won't tell you what it was but... let's just say damn skippy. I'm a pimp so I'll just go ahead and brush my shoulda's off. Yea... I'm so stoked that this semester is going well and I am having fun with it :)

I have been busy studying and working so much lately that I have not really had much time for myself or to do anything fun so I'm going to buy an iPod 40 gig and my plane ticket to see Brittany! I give up on this update, l@tes.

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I LOVE MY ROOM MATE <3
2/9/05 7:36 PM - Submitted by Chaz

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Since some people have already looked at the site today I figured I should drop an update early on to attract more readers later when the juicy information comes along. Anyway, I spent a long ass time revising this paper, re-writing it and reformatting the lay out and the way it flows. I know I always tell everyone I'll post my work but eh... I'm just a little lazy when it all comes down to it, you know?

I have been meaning to buy a freaking printer for the longest time but I have not gotten around to that yet either. The good news is I was able to take care of my English class and everything is cool now. DAMN, it is freaking hott in these stupid dorms... I cannot wait to get my own place, well I can wait but I don't want to wait. :)

Anyway, today I am going to have to go down to Youth on Their Own and pick up another scholarship - yay! I fired my day off with a Venti White Chocolate Mocha... mmmm, yes... this is freaking awesome. Ok, well back to the paper soon, even though I want to keep writing. Here are a few things I want to do / spend money on but who knows...

One item for fun :

iPod 40 gig ($250)
Plane Ticket to Montana($100-$50 = $50 (using my voucher))
Vail - Spring Break ($300-400)
Playstation 2 - ($200 total for a few games and several controllers)
X-Box ($200 total for a few games, pre-owned from Alan)
Laptop - ($1,000 give or take)
New Computer - ($1,400)
One Lottery Ticket - ($3 (in hopes of winning $3,500 to buy all of these things))


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I miss everyone and to everyone I have not met, I miss you too.
2/7/05 10:15 PM - Submitted by Chaz

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Thanks, unbelievable. I have heard about you guys non stop and I am almost certain that I know each and every individual that lives in the state of Montana because of Brittalicious... SOOOO everyone and there mother in Montana is asking about me today, hf. Ok everyone, I love you all very much and I am not to sure when I'll be back for another visit. WHEN I DO COME THOUGH, PLEASE BAKE ME LOTS OF CHOCOLATE BROWNIES, FAT FREE OR NOT THAT'S OK. I will really love you if you do that, but if not... that's ok; I'll just get Mrs. Brittany to make them for me. Hoho, I have an idea for everyone... start a Chaz's Plane Ticket fund and I'll double up whatever you can collect YAY! Ok, much love. Lates to my one and only girlfriend and her homies.

I Bittalicous & Ashley. For Real,

For Real.



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Well, hello there life. Nice of you to bite me in the ass again, kthx.
2/7/05 4:26 PM - Submitted by Chaz

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w00t, so I finally got back into my English class, talked to my advisor... erm my Aunt and things are cool. Argh, I wrote this update up and nothing saved because the internet is a douche bag. Anyway, I'll post a more in a little while after I watch this Chapelle Show episdoe, hoho!

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What?
2/7/05 2:08 AM - Submitted by Chaz

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I swear to god... sometimes I just feel like a little schoolgirl. My emotions have been shifting a lot lately, my feelings have been changing sporadically, my head has been spinning a million miles an hour and I feel on top of the world now. I don't ever understand what all of this stuff means, and at the same time I understand why I go through certain emotions and why I am the way I am. I just feel as if I have a lot on my shoulders but when it all comes down to it, I really don't.

School :
I dropped my English 101 class on accident and now I am not sure if I will be able to get back into it. This means I am at 11 credits and I will pick up a 1 credit freshman colloquium 'independent study' if I cannot get back into it and I'll just start up where I left off next year. I have mild homework in Spanish every night, but it is fun most of the time. In my math class things are going really well, it's easy but soon it picks up and I'm ready to board that train :). In my Astronomy class, well... I don't really know what to say other then hooray because it is going to be an easy A. The best part about school is I'm starting to get a good feel for it and I'm doing homework that is the only part that I have been lacking in. The problem is... after this semester I do not know how many credits I will be at (20) is what I am positive of, but I need more to be a sophomore. I want to get rid of a few classes and I wanted to do that with summer class, but I am thinking now of just taking the classes at Pima just to get them out of the way. The only problem with taking classes at Pima is the GPA of the credits do not transfer and that is what I want. Easy classes = A's for the GPA which = HIGH GPA, kthx. Oh well, that leads me into my next stress bullet.

Southwestern :
Well, the time has come to crunch. I am either going to sell books or I am not going to sell books. I had a meeting today with Kari and Sean (us managers) and it went pretty well. That is something else that adds to my stress, but it shouldn't... because it is something that I enjoy doing and something that I make a lot of money off of. The people that I meet and sell books with are like family to me. It is really weird, but I like the feeling of accomplishment knowing that I just finished a summer selling books and making a shite load of money. I am almost positive that I am going to sell books this summer, it will be my break from school and it will allow me to just work. I am going to attend meetings, meet up with people and recruit just because it is something that I need to do to keep myself busy. I am going to commit to this really soon or I am going to back out really soon, I need to fully make up my mind. Fifteen more weeks and I'll be gone for 1/4 of a year. Scary huh?

Eye Exam :
I have some great news though; I got my eyes checked today! Yes, I know... as much as I bitched and complained about my prescription for contacts wearing out, I finally sucked it up and took the test. I spent about $150 dollars today on Contacts/Eye Exam. The part that pissed me off about it was the fact hat I knew my eyes had not changed at all and that I still had to take the test. The doctor was impressed with my eyes though. He said he had not seen anyone with such a mild case of bad vision (-1.50) in the Left and Right eye stay consistent over a long period of time. I told him that it has been this way for about 5 years now and he said that if I wanted to get Lasec surgery in a year or two then I'd be a candidate due to my vision being super. That was fun, was cool to walk in there knowing my eyes had not changed, knowing that I was not scared to get tested. HOHO, anyway... the worst part was spending the money, everyone hates spending money if it's not on something they don't want.

I went to Wal-Mart this weekend and spent a little on myself, it was fun. I bought a DVD player finally and a few DVD's to build my collection. Now I have a T.V., a remote for my stereo, DVD player and television and I can sit on my bed 4ever and watch the tube. Hoho, next week I'll get a PS2 or an XBOX, we'll see. OK, so I have some homework to finish. Class in 10 hours and I am going to rock it out with my Spanish Composition and English Essay, lates all. Njoy the read, come back tomorrow for more. :D

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Do I need time or do I need to re-evaluate myself?
2/4/05 5:51 PM - Submitted by Chaz

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I have been thinking a lot lately about what I am going to do over the next few months and I am still not sure what I want in life. I know that going to school is the best thing for me to do right now, but I am just not ready for this. College has been fun but it has been nothing what I expected it to be. I am pissing money away by going to school and I just don't know what to do. I feel like taking a semester off is an easy way out but I really want to just take some time off. Maybe what I need is to not sell books again this summer, but then again I think that if I do sell books then I will make a lot of money but I won't have time to reflect upon myself before it comes time for school again. There is a lot going on in my mind right now and it is really messing me up, I am not able to sleep most of the time because of this.

Any answers to life would be great right now, thanks. I'm out for a while... don't try to get ahold of me I am taking a break. P.S. I am not going to proof read this because I know that it won't make any sense if I do and if you are reading this, just know that I have a lot on my mind and I just tried to tell it all in about seven sentences and that just didn't work. School will be out in 3 months give or take. Time is flying by :/

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February is here, it's here omgooses it's here!
2/1/05 3:30 PM - Submitted by Chaz

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Wow, my school really blows. They cannot keep the fucking internet working for more than 5 minutes. We are having a lot of problems and it is really frustrating. The good news is I loaded Photoshop and Microsoft Word on my computer so I can finally write my essays. Ha, school is going well and I am still bored out of my mind with life. I think I need to start making music again, <3

I am so bored right now this is ridiculous, I cannot sleep and I am feeling weird, bleh... help?

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